Sleepless in Hartlepool

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On Wednesday morning at 02:20 I woke up in a cold sweat. Had I been frightened by the Halloween ghosties? Had I been grabbed by the ghoulies? Well, no - the ‘Flu vaccination jab I had on Monday was finally taking effect. I have the jab every year and each time it gives me a temperature and a pounding headache for a few days accompanied by couple of sleepless nights. I lay there in the dark with fireworks going off under my closed lids and sweat running down my neck (yes it’s as bad as it sounds… ugh!). Here’s the rest of the night’s insomnia action!

02:30               I’m staring at the clock listening to Mrs Headlander’s breathing next to me. She’s sleeping just fine – it’s not fair! My head’s pounding and my heart’s racing as if I’d just finished doing a ten mile run (who am I kidding – I’ve never done a ten mile run), well… pounding as if I had climbed the stairs anyway. I’m trying to think restful thoughts and it’s not working. The old wives method of getting to sleep is to count sheep, so here goes… 1, 2, 3…

02:45              …1442, 1443, 1444. Nope – it didn’t work. My head’s buzzing with useless thoughts… ‘do the bedroom curtains need washing?’… ‘what’s for dinner later tonight?’… ‘Why Middlesbrough?’ (Not why Middlesbrough anything, just why Middlesbrough in general). The strong winds are lashing the occasional rain against the bedroom window and the noise is making me want to go to the loo. Sod it! I’ve had enough of this, she’s doing my head in by sleeping so soundly whilst I’m lying here awake and I can’t wake her up as she’s got work in the morning. So being the considerate partner that I am I’ll get up and have a cup of tea – that’ll sort me out. I get my clothes and creep out of the room.

03:00               Two aspirins and a glass of water later I’m drinking a large mug of tea and starting yesterday’s Telegraph crossword.

04:00               Still wide awake – the warm drink didn’t seem to work at all. Struggling with the crossword. Wonder if Pools won last night. Switch on the telly and hit the red button…Bugger! We lost… but we had more shots on target than Doncaster – usual story, ho hum.

04:30               Crossword is as complete as I’m going to get it. Time to start on the Sudoku.

05:00               Finished! Hah – who needs Carol Vorderman’s Sudoku solving books. One to me I think Carol. Ho hum – bored bored bored. Stare at the clock.

06:00               Decided to write all this down on the laptop. Switched it on, took two Paracetamol and made some more tea.

06:45               That’s done the trick, I’m knackered! I’m struggling to stay awake… time to switch off and go back to bed. Four and a half hours of sleep wasted. Written up to this point – I’ll finish it off in the morning (maybe the afternoon if I get enough sleep). Get undressed in the lounge and creep back into the bedroom. I slide under the covers and enter the blissful world of sleep.

07:30               She’s bloody woken me up! Apparently I promised that we’d go to Asda this morning and do the monthly ‘big shop’ before she goes to work. I bemoan my rough night’s sleep but she’s having none of it and tells me to get out of bed, get in the shower and get ready to go out. There’s really no rest for the wicked (or should that be the married?).

 09:30               Back from Asda. £120 poorer and wide awake again! I’m overtired now so I’m going to solve the problem once and for all. Where’s that whisky bottle. Night night.

Cheers!

Headlander

p.s… Here’s a relevant quickie from the landlord of the Pint and Fight, Hugh Jaynus:

What’s the difference between light and hard?

You can easily get to sleep with a light on!