We Are Not a Loon

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Well I’m back from my break in Scotland and I’ve been catching up on the news courtesy of our reliable “organ of truth” the Hartlepool Mail. In amongst the usual stories of convictions for shoplifting and continuing football success (well done Pools by the way!) was a brilliant one about a lady who is being visited by aliens.

 

She claims that for 30 years she has been visited by aliens from the Pleiades (A star cluster some 425 light years distance away) who have mysteriously appeared, floated in through windows and even driven up in cars. During their visitations they have communicated telepathically with her, poked and prodded her and even played her 1940’s music to soothe her fevered brow.

 

They were constant visitors throughout her early years in Hartlepool and then followed her when she moved away to Wolverhampton – Here the story gets its first whiff of untruth for me… not because of the alien visitations but who in their right mind would voluntarily want to move to Wolverhampton for heaven’s sake! If aliens visited they’d soon be on their way back to the Pleiades when they saw the lovely scenes of vandalism and dereliction. Perhaps they tried to leave and couldn’t as the wheels on their spacecraft had been stolen.

 

Right, let’s get this straight then shall we… Put yourself in the shoes of the average Pleiadean Alien… here’s a brief example of how your might think: First of all you wake up on your lovely planet of approximately the same size, atmosphere and gravity as ours (these aliens are reported to be bipeds of around our stature who do not wear shiny helmets – the chances of this are getting slim already) and then you decide to visit our star system (why ours? Our TV/Radio signals haven’t reached the Pleiades yet so one would assume the choice to be random). You and a few alien mates decide to make the epic journey (which unless they have different laws of physics would take 425 years at the speed of light) to the Earth and once in orbit you select a random country to study… England (of course – the finest country in the world innit) – and then you and the boys decide not to reveal yourselves to the Great and the Good of our nation but to find a person to visit and study - so you pick a town… perhaps you throw a cosmic dart at a cosmic map and it lands in Hartlepool – and then, instead of visiting the MP, the mayor or some other dignitary you choose a 13 year old babysitter. Uh huh.

 

Whilst I have no doubt that this woman is sincere in her beliefs the last couple of paragraphs of the Mail article tell me all I need to know about why she hasn’t made this particular affliction public for 30 years… she’s got a book coming out! Is it me? Don’t you think that there just might be a connection?

 

For decades we have been fascinated by one question in particular – “Is there intelligent life in Outer Space”? I sometimes think (and this is one of those times) that this may be the wrong question – I would ask... “Is there intelligent life on Earth”?

 

 

Cheers!

 

Headlander