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Latest from Headlander's Blog

Don’t Look Now! Zen and the Art of Christmas Shopping Virgin on the Ridiculous In the Ghetto... Sorry I meant Netto Nigella Bytes

Headlander's Blog

Headlander is a curmudgeonly old Hartlepudlian who was - and continues to be - educated on a barstool...

...He is a "Grumpy Old Man" of the highest order and amongst the things that he enjoys are drinking at his local - "The Pint and Fight", winding up the current Mrs Headlander, shaking his fist at cars that don't stop at pedestrian crossings and listening to the sound of his own voice.

Along with many other things, he particularly dislikes scented candles, reality television, soaps, wind chimes and small yappy dogs - all of which he believes should be sent out to sea on a leaky boat and used for target practice by the air force.

His long suffering missus goes out to work to keep him in beer and regularly has to stop him from shouting at the television whenever Sharon Osborne's face appears.

In this blog Headlander hopes to share his experiences and thoughts about happenings in and about Hartlepool with everyone... and have a few laughs while doing it. The blog will be updated at least weekly, usually on a Friday, but if he needs to share something then the updates could crop up at any time.

Headlander hopes you enjoy your little look at his world.

Don’t Look Now!

I was just standing at the sink doing the washing up (the current Mrs Headlander won't invest in a dishwasher as long as she's married to me) and listening to good old, dependable Radio 2 the other day when a song came spluttering out of the old bakelite tranny that bought back a wave of memories for me... [ Read More... ]

Zen and the Art of Christmas Shopping

"Herro and ahhh so" from me, The Dalai Headlander, as I hope to guide you through the stresses and strains of the annual consumerfest argy bargy of pre-Christmas scrummaging... i.e. gift shopping. Whilst the current Mrs Headlander is whipping herself into the usual retail frenzy I am adopting a much more relaxed attitude. I have decided to do Zen Christmas shopping and if you will listen to me, your very own Dalai Headlander, I will share my wisdom and tips on the subject. Whether you want them or not - as usual! [ Read More... ]

Virgin on the Ridiculous

Well, dear reader, I missed an article last week due to having to take a trip to Southampton. I was due back on Thursday night and so should've had plenty of time to regale you with my adventures but due to circumstances beyond my control I had to postpone my return until Friday. This was not an easy or pleasant trip and as usual I would like to share my outrage with you... [ Read More... ]

In the Ghetto... Sorry I meant Netto

Last weekend the current Mrs Headlander and myself took a quick trip to the beautiful environs of West View to visit Mrs H's sister, Camella, as we were invited over to watch the rugby World Cup Final. As we were confident that England were going to easily win the game we decided to stock up with extra drink to ensure that we had plenty of alcohol with which to toast our glorious boys in white-with-a-bit-of-red. So myself and Camella's husband, Boss Hogg, took a trip to the nearest large purveyor of fine beers, wines and spirits... Netto. [ Read More... ]

Nigella Bytes

On a quiet night like tonight I like nothing more than running my fingers lightly over the front of Nigella... now before you all start wondering if I'm one lucky Headlander who is having an affair with TV's Domestic Goddess I need to tell you that Nigella is actually what I have named my Laptop - because it looks lovely, is a joy to touch and responds to my every need... well, my computing ones anyway! [ Read More... ]

Who wants to live in Darlington?

I need some help to find the answers to a serious issue that has been gnawing away at my insides. To whit: Why Darlo? By that I mean who wants to live in Darlington when you’ve got the thriving seaside community of Hartlepool down the road with its thriving Marina, lovely coal encrusted beaches and delightful nightspots? [ Read More... ]

Big Girls You Are Beautiful

Well, as you may have heard, his nibs is away off on his travels again… so I’m getting some peace and quiet for one whole week instead of getting woken up every morning by “Shrek” or “guffy” as I call him, moaning about the weather and life in general. Just think of Victor Meldrew and times that by ten and you’ll get the picture of the miserable old fella that I live with. [ Read More... ]

Proud to be a Poolie

This week a new local award scheme has been announced… the Pride in Hartlepool awards, which are being run by our local council. The scheme is designed ''to ensure that individuals have a chance to earn some deserved recognition for their efforts to make the town a better place". Well whoop tee doo! [ Read More... ]

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