Sunday , July 22 2018
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Happy New PS2

First of all, a happy new year to everyone out there in cyberspace. I hope it was both as good and as raucous as mine was. Things have been pretty busy between the two festivals As I mentioned last week, between Christmas and New Year comes Mrs Hs birthday so not only did I have the stress of finding her a suitable Christmas present but I also had the added problem of getting a birthday present as well. She wanted me to take her to see Pools as her present (I did… and we won wahay!!) but I know her well and there would have been a whole truck full of trouble if first thing in the morning there was nothing to unwrap.

With the help of her sister I managed to crack it this year – I finally took the plunge and joined the thousands of other households who enjoy video gaming I bought her a PS2 console and some games.

I should have done this years ago She loves it! Soaps have now been banished from the telly as Mrs H has become a Big Mutha Trucker and is spending most of her waking hours in her virtual 18 wheeler transporting cargo, making dodgy deals and fighting with biker gangs. Well, she does this when shes not being James Bond driving around the streets of Istanbul shooting communists. Or when shes not being Colin McCrae speeding around some German Rally course. Or even playing Golf on some PGA tour or another and even Crazy Golf as well!

I simply dont know where she finds the time to cook and clean the house! Oh thats right she doesnt… I do it!

As I write this, Mrs H is currently being a downhill skier and is pounding the controller trying to stay on the course, hurtling down some European mountainside or other. Watching this game is no fun, but watching her play it is she is sat on the very edge of her seat and is leaning left and right as her virtual skier hurtles down the piste.

Ive managed to get a go on the PS2 just once so far. Mrs H had to leave the building to look after her sisters kids so I jumped on the console, taught myself the golf game and had a relaxing couple of hours hitting balls around some Pacific course. Im not into all the fast paced reaction time games that Mrs H gets a kick out of If I wanted to be put into stressful situations Id go to work for longer hours. It seems that most games have an intense competitive element in them – golf is the most relaxing so far so Ill stick to that.

Mrs Hs Dad, who is 69, has a PS2 as well so in my quest for quiet, reflective, non-competitive, relaxing games I asked him what games he likes to play. Youd think that a pensioner would be into such games but no he shoots down squadron after squadron of Japanese Zeros (except when he plays the Japanese and then he shoots down the Americans whilst shouting BANZAI!).

He has given me a fishing game which he thinks is boring as not much happens. I think that Its brilliant as its quite slow all that I have to do now to make it absolutely perfect is to work out how to stop it catching any fish!

Cheers!

Headlander

When I told landlord Hugh of my purchase he didnt crack any jokes but suggested that as it was purchased for a woman, that the games console should have games specifically designed for them such as How to please your man, Prostitution, Charlady Capers and Nigellas Cookery.

Shell be in the Pint and Fight to see him tonight watch out Hugh!

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