On Wednesday morning at 02:20 I woke up in a cold sweat. Had I been frightened by the Halloween ghosties Had I been grabbed by the ghoulies Well, no – the Flu vaccination jab I had on Monday was finally taking effect. I have the jab every year and each time it gives me a temperature and a pounding headache for a few days accompanied by couple of sleepless nights. I lay there in the dark with fireworks going off under my closed lids and sweat running down my neck (yes its as bad as it sounds ugh!). Heres the rest of the nights insomnia action!
02:30 Im staring at the clock listening to Mrs Headlanders breathing next to me. Shes sleeping just fine its not fair! My heads pounding and my hearts racing as if Id just finished doing a ten mile run (who am I kidding Ive never done a ten mile run), well pounding as if I had climbed the stairs anyway. Im trying to think restful thoughts and its not working. The old wives method of getting to sleep is to count sheep, so here goes 1, 2, 3
02:45 1442, 1443, 1444. Nope it didnt work. My heads buzzing with useless thoughts do the bedroom curtains need washing whats for dinner later tonight Why Middlesbrough (Not why Middlesbrough anything, just why Middlesbrough in general). The strong winds are lashing the occasional rain against the bedroom window and the noise is making me want to go to the loo. Sod it! Ive had enough of this, shes doing my head in by sleeping so soundly whilst Im lying here awake and I cant wake her up as shes got work in the morning. So being the considerate partner that I am Ill get up and have a cup of tea thatll sort me out. I get my clothes and creep out of the room.
03:00 Two aspirins and a glass of water later Im drinking a large mug of tea and starting yesterdays Telegraph crossword.
04:00 Still wide awake the warm drink didnt seem to work at all. Struggling with the crossword. Wonder if Pools won last night. Switch on the telly and hit the red buttonBugger! We lost but we had more shots on target than Doncaster usual story, ho hum.
04:30 Crossword is as complete as Im going to get it. Time to start on the Sudoku.
05:00 Finished! Hah who needs Carol Vordermans Sudoku solving books. One to me I think Carol. Ho hum bored bored bored. Stare at the clock.
06:00 Decided to write all this down on the laptop. Switched it on, took two Paracetamol and made some more tea.
06:45 Thats done the trick, Im knackered! Im struggling to stay awake time to switch off and go back to bed. Four and a half hours of sleep wasted. Written up to this point Ill finish it off in the morning (maybe the afternoon if I get enough sleep). Get undressed in the lounge and creep back into the bedroom. I slide under the covers and enter the blissful world of sleep.
07:30 Shes bloody woken me up! Apparently I promised that wed go to Asda this morning and do the monthly big shop before she goes to work. I bemoan my rough nights sleep but shes having none of it and tells me to get out of bed, get in the shower and get ready to go out. Theres really no rest for the wicked (or should that be the married).
09:30 Back from Asda. 120 poorer and wide awake again! Im overtired now so Im going to solve the problem once and for all. Wheres that whisky bottle. Night night.
p.s Heres a relevant quickie from the landlord of the Pint and Fight, Hugh Jaynus:
Whats the difference between light and hard
You can easily get to sleep with a light on!