Thursday , October 18 2018
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Here Comes the Sun

What beautiful weather weve been having this week. I would like to suggest that all this rain has been good for the garden but unless you own a rice paddy then thats probably not true. Some areas of the country have been really badly hit but I suppose weve been fairly lucky in Hartlepool, apart from some localised flooding weve seen nothing on the scale of the devastation that theyve seen around Doncaster and Hull – although if youve been to Hull Im not sure how youd tell the difference between pre and post flooding conditions.


If they really get stuck then at least they can float off to safety in their nice cream telephone boxes.


In amongst all of the difficulties that people are experiencing with flooded houses and factories we are starting to hear the distant bleating of the farmers who have had some of their crops ruined. Of course this isnt a good thing but who cares if a few acres of oilseed rape has been ruined  Im sure that the insurance will pay up and a big fat EU subsidy will help them get back on their feet. Its the average shopper who will suffer  due to the inclement weather the price of vegetables may rise  in some cases quite considerably  why Well I wish I could work that one out: There will still be plenty of parsnips to go round but the price will rise Hmmm someone explain that to me then if you can. If we were all fighting for the last parsnip and it was being auctioned off to the highest bidder then I could understand the price hike but as that wont happen then whos making the money The suppliers will not endure any drop in profits and so always pass on all of the extra cost to the end customers.


Well thanks guys – Those on the dole now resent you even more and will want to scratch your BMW just a little deeper. One crop that has been badly damaged is the barley harvest and why is this so serious? Well, barley is carefully heated and germinated to make malt – the main ingredient of beer and whisky. This could be a national tragedy! Beer prices could go up! Its a terrible situation this, I might have to switch to cider and that means buying extra toilet rolls!


The terrible weather isnt a surprise to anyone who regularly holidays in the UK  theyre used to it by now! Increasingly, UK residents are choosing to go on holiday to Southern Europe and the Caribbean because they can predict the weather in these places with relative certainty It will mostly be sunny, warm and lovely. Whereas in the UK it might just might be one or more of those things but it also might be wetter than an otters bum. And its not just holidays that the weather affects; its all aspects of outdoor life, particularly if you plan to do something alfresco at the weekend. How many people decide to have barbecues on a Saturday and invite friends, neighbours and relatives but have to cancel at the last minute because its bloody well raining again! Or if they dont cancel then either Dad ends up stood on his own in the garden under a very big brolly cursing and swearing whilst inhaling the smoke from a barbecue that isnt quite hot enough creating salmonella burgers for his nearest and dearest or Mum is stuck sweating in the kitchen where the temperature is approaching 100 degrees as the cooker is grilling, frying and boiling burgers, chicken wings and hot dogs for the guests crammed into the living room holding their cans of warm lager and paper plates expectantly. What a load of rubbish eh You know it would make much more sense to hold this event on a beach somewhere on the Costa Blanca and not in sunny Owton Manor – You just cant plan any outdoor activity in this country.


And the Government and killjoy environmentalists wonder why we all snap up cheap flights to Spain when we could enjoy the delights of Bridlington. Its a no brainer isnt it go on sod the environment the green bullies can all go and sit in deckchairs in the rain in Skegness get on that cheap flight to Alicante as soon as you can. Ill see you there in Marios Bar and you can buy me a drink for giving you such good advice – mines a cider.





p.s. on a positive note Wimbledon has been disrupted. Magic! Sorry tennis lovers but its even longer than a cricket test match, which is the perfect length for a contest!

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